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In a talk before boomers (you can watch it below), Adshade says older women really aren’t disadvantaged on the dating market.

The persistent belief is that women are looking for long-term committed relationship and men are looking for short-term sexual relationships.

That said, the dating market for older singles isn’t all that easy. There just aren’t that many available singles our age and the ones who are available are an interesting lot (read Anne Lamott’s funny take of her year on to understand).

Because men have shorter lifespans, many older men are interested in having a potential caregiver or a “nurse with a purse.” They tend to marry quicker than older women, but it isn’t because older women can’t find a hubby; it’s because women are more likely to be looking for a short-term relationship or a companion, not a husband.

Thus most women, if they did not choose to become nuns, were expected to marry and procreate.

According to Hostensius, once a girl was physically ready to consummate a sexual relationship, she was ready for marriage, and the same was true for boys.

That isn’t true for my three girlfriends, but it’s true for me.

She believes — and I agree — that more people need to talk openly about this because all older women hear (and thus believe) is that older men are them from the 50-something dating pool ASAP; I’m not interested in men like that so move along, men, and good luck! As a newly single woman after an eight-plus year relationship, I am curious about what to expect this time, now that I’m 50-something instead of 40-something.

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