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“Some bi men and their partners felt they no longer belonged and were discriminated against by gay men and lesbians.
Some women who had been loved by gay men were now hearing comments like, ‘You’d better lock your boyfriends away, the female predator is here’,” says Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli. Is the bedroom a sacred space or can others come into bed with us? Are we going to do gendered monogamy - meaning the man could only date other men and the woman other women?
And he’s been great in bed.’ Suddenly, they had to ask themselves if it’s worth giving up this amazing man simply because he has desires and wants to have relationships with other men.
Instead, is there something they can do, somehow incorporating all of who he is into the relationship?
Some women would say, ‘As long as I have veto power, you can see men,’ meaning she can tell him not to date guys she thinks have a bad vibe.
Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli and her co-author Sara Lubowitz hope that their research will help people reconsider what they think they know about bisexuality, and approaching their own relationships with more openness regardless of their sexual orientation. “You go in and design the relationship for yourselves.
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