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Living in New York City with her husband and three children, Dr.
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Unfortunately, many singles will make their lists of personal preferences their only criteria for selecting a life partner.
As I frequently point out, psychological literature indicates that people usually say what they mean, and that the best way to predict someone’s behavior is by listening to what they say (and, by extension, what they write in their online dating profiles).
Even if you believe that you could be their perfect match, you ultimately have to take them at face value (believe that they said what they meant) and move on. But instead, many singles still try to make themselves desirable to someone who has made it clear that you would never be acceptable, and then blame them for being so rigid and stubborn in their criteria.
Looking at the bigger picture, however, I believe that today's singles have the particulate challenge of constantly comparing their dates, and themselves, with the media-created stereotypes of who is deemed desirable and acceptable, and who is not. Lack of self-acceptance will help to explain why, for example, some singles will lie on their online dating profiles: since they don’t accept themselves for who they are, and view themselves as having a dating disability, and refuse to believe that not everyone in the world is going to like them, they compensate by working harder to make themselves fit into what they think is acceptable and desirable.