Men dating depression
I write about gender on the Internet for crying out loud!
But every day, when I log into the dating site of my choice, I play the passive role, the receiver of attention, the awaiter of messages.
Basically, I act like an entitled jerk who can pull puppet strings and make Ok Cupid dance for me however I please. I don’t have to, and so I don’t make myself go through the scary exercise of asking for consideration and possibly being rejected or ignored.
This is not the behavior I would expect of a feminist, sex-positive 21st century lady. Why would I put myself through the rollercoaster of the drafting, the editing, the sending, the waiting, the hoping, the checking, and the sighing in disappointment when the fact of my gender (and let’s be real; that’s really all it is) means the attention comes to me?
A person with depression typically withdraws from or becomes impaired in social interactions.
Apathy toward work, school, relationships, responsibility, and eventually toward important goals, negatively affects the person and the family.
It is a sad, soul-crushing place where good guys go to die a slow death by way of ignored messages and empty inboxes.
You will peruse profiles and find a few women who aren’t posing in a bathroom with their stomachs exposed.
She will offer to split, but you think she doesn’t mean it and you don’t want to be a jerk.
You will look for things in common in their profile (they like Scrabble too! You will send them a note, carefully crafted to show interest and attention to detail. The next one will, but she spells “you” as “u” and you will let the conversation stall.
Finally, one of the cool girls writes back, and you will banter a bit, swapping favorite restaurants or concert venues.
I go to my inbox and see who wants to talk to me and then I choose to whom I’ll respond.
Sometimes I send a “thanks but no thanks” to particularly sweet messages, but usually I’m so overwhelmed by the new things to read and the new choices in front of me that I ignore those nice guys too.