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Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect.In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal.And I started thinking about it and wondering why that is. It may be true, but it’s more likely that it’s the rejection talking. Men (and women) do not want a constant reminder of their rejection when hanging out with so-called “friends”.If I went on one date with a woman, and she thought I was nice, but wasn’t attracted to me, that would probably hurt.If you’re single (and especially if you’re a single parent), don’t worry if you need a boost too!
Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship.To clarify my intentions, I never kept my women friends around to potentially go back to them as booty calls (which is a pretty common technique).It’s more that I tend to think highly of those I’ve dated and don’t see why we couldn’t at least remain “friendly”, if not friends.It occured to me this morning that the only women I stayed friends with in my years of online dating were those who I’d hooked up with while we were dating. A client was telling me this morning that she went on a first date, and while she thought he was a nice guy, she just wanted to keep him in her life as a “music friend”.Instantly, I knew that this was not going to happen.