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As difficult as this is to fathom, when you throw a life preserver to a Waif, she ignores/disregards it (throws it back), or resents the gesture.Don't assume this borderline is always physically thin/slender.
Perhaps your lover is continuously struggling with some sort of drama or challenge, and you've repeatedly offered sound suggestions and tried to help--but to no avail.
Any male who grew up having to love an unhappy, discontent or depressed, worried mother will likely be attracted to a BPD Waif.
The central reason for this, is that he tried tenaciously as a child to balance/improve his mother's mood, with the subconscious hope that he could win her affection, and help her become more responsive to his intrinsic needs for tenderness, play and joyful interaction.
In essence, any feeling that is Anyone who has grown up with a BPD waif-type mother has observed a pitiful, long-suffering woman who won't leave her harsh, abusive or neglectful husband, no matter how bitterly she complains about him. Because pain is enlivening for her~ and without it she feels dead inside.
Besides, who could she for her dissatisfaction, depression and emptiness, if she left that relationship??