Bai ling dating history
There’s nothing wrong with talking about your past or even your insecurities (to a point) because it’s part of what broadens the depth of knowledge about one another, but if you share for misguided reasons it will backfire. ” or “You can’t or at least you shouldn’t hurt me because look what at what happened to me!” From personal experience and listening to many stories, what we don’t realise when we ‘overshare’ is that somewhere we feel a need to impart this information because we suspect that we have reason to be cautious.I told another ex all the things that bugged me about the previous ex and he adjusted his behaviour, something that to be fair, many people do when they’re eager to win over a partner but it can be quite manipulative if it crosses into a territory of being 1) deceptive and 2) covert abuse.In lighter terms, the ‘adjusting’ is as simple as being on a date with someone and them telling you that they were always arguing, not getting enough sex, and feeling quite neglected with their ex.I’m frequently asked how to deal with sharing past experiences or ‘revealing’ insecurities – the healthiest type of information sharing is the type that doesn’t have the quiet agenda of generating a specific emotion or action out of a person. Are you trying to draw empathy but actually getting it mixed up and still trying to draw sympathy?Whatever you impart, you’re comfortable with it, you’re at peace with it (or are on the way to being so), and it’s part of your emotional honesty. Are you even being manipulative in that you hope that this new found knowledge will quietly coerce them into changing their position or even their behaviour/character? Often when people ‘share’ their past, hurt or insecurity, it’s like “Please don’t hurt me!It’s like you’re together for a while and then one night, you show up with all of these extra bags. We all have pasts and sometimes, they’re ones that we’re not proud of, that we have some regrets or embarrassment about, or that still impact us.
Instead of going into intricate detail about your exes (you shouldn’t be talking about them on the first 1-3 dates anyway as you have better things to talk about), the simple answer is “We wanted different things.” This is 100% true.
You cannot ‘make it up to them’ for a past that they weren’t a part of.
How your past or insecurity comes out has a lot to do with where you are with it.
But he really respects and understands women, and by that I mean he doesn’t treat a woman any differently than he’ll treat a man.
He would never tiptoe around a woman.”“I was raised a Republican, but I just can’t imagine supporting a party that doesn’t support women’s basic rights.